Zabitan's Magic Happy Horror Movie Reviews

Zabitan · 09/21/15, 05:25 PM

So I decided to try my hand at movie reviews, and since we live in an age where Halloween is everything after July but before November I thought screw it why not try horror movies.

For my first one I decided to look at my own personal favorite horror movie John Carpenter's The Thing

John Carpenter's The Thing 1982

Just the facts

It's the first week of Winter in 1982 at Outpost 31 an American research base in the Antarctic, and it looks like the worst thing the boys at Outpost 31 will have to deal with are boredom, each other's crap, and cheating chess computers.

But out of nowhere a helicopter full of seemingly mad Norwegians appears shooting at a seemingly innocent dog but the men at Outpost 31, and the Norwegians' own incompetence quickly do them in.

Attempts to look for answers only reveal the nearby Norwegian research outpost to be in charred ruins with no survivors, and a bizarre but seemingly human upon autopsy body.

It's only later when the rescued dog mutates into a hideous tentacled abomination, and tries to both devour, and clone the other dogs, and a return trip to the ruins of the Norwegian outpost that the men at Outpost 31 discover that the Norwegians accidentally freed some strange alien creature.

A creature capable of not only devouring another lifeform cell by cell from the inside but also capable of changing it's own cells to duplicate it's prey, and worse if it leaves Antarctica it will assimilate all life on Earth within years.

Not only that but the paranoia over who's still human, and who's an alien is getting to the men, and their greatest threat may not be the alien but each other.

My %100 completely honest, biased, and subjective opinion

First things first I remember for the longest time never actually watching this movie mostly because I was only familiar with the 1951 Howard Hawkes movie on which this is based.

And because while I thought the actual creature looked scary I was confused about whether it ate people, and turned into them, and turned people into more aliens.

It was only when I found out that both movies where based on the same book John W Campbell Jr's Who Goes There, and that if anything Carpenter's version actually closer that I gave it a chance.

And now that I have I can honestly say that this is my personal favorite horror movie.

For starters it has all the things that creep me out the most.

You have a tentacled abomination from outer space that reproduces by turning other beings into more of itself.

You have paranoia over who's still human, and who's an alien.

And not only that but the setting reminds me of when I still lived in Cheyenne Wyoming so even I now live in Eureka California it still feels like something that could have happened to me if I stayed there.

Another reason I like it is because the eponymous Thing is not only an Eldritich Abomination but one that feels like it's only slightly outside the realm of possibility.

No one knows what it actually is, or where it came, no one's sure if it's a complex life form like an animal that works like a disease or a simple life form like a disease that works like an animal, and even the smallest cell of it is an independent creature.

At the same time it's not completely immortal because fire can destroy it, it has to rely on deception because if it goes around acting Willy nilly it will get killed, and the same every cell is an individual Thing creature itself rule means that you can take cells from someone, and expose them to heat, and find out who's a Thing.

I also like how there's tension, and not everything is thrown at us right away but at the same time it never gets very boring either because it feels like there's a rhythm to it like they'll be five minutes of talking, and everyone wondering who's The Thing, and then all of a sudden BAM someone turns out to be The Thing.

I think if I have a problem it's that in trying to make the main hero MacReady look like a cool bad ass it makes him a helicopter pilot seem smarter than an entire team of actual scientists, especially when he does things that are supposed to be harsh but necessary when he does them but are crazy, and suicidal when others do them.

But even that I can chalk up to this being a John Carpenter's movie with Kurt Russell at a time when Kurt Russell was the cool bad ass in John Carpenter's movies, and the fact that supposedly the original story Who Goes There? was almost a Doc Savage story, and MacReady himself was supposed to be Doc Savage.

In the end The Thing in my opinion truly lives up to it's claim as the ultimate alien terror.

09/21/15, 05:25 PM	#1
Zabitan Administrator Join Date: 01/06/11 Location: Eureka California Posts: 1,778	Zabitan's Magic Happy Horror Movie Reviews So I decided to try my hand at movie reviews, and since we live in an age where Halloween is everything after July but before November I thought screw it why not try horror movies. For my first one I decided to look at my own personal favorite horror movie John Carpenter's The Thing John Carpenter's The Thing 1982 Just the facts It's the first week of Winter in 1982 at Outpost 31 an American research base in the Antarctic, and it looks like the worst thing the boys at Outpost 31 will have to deal with are boredom, each other's crap, and cheating chess computers. But out of nowhere a helicopter full of seemingly mad Norwegians appears shooting at a seemingly innocent dog but the men at Outpost 31, and the Norwegians' own incompetence quickly do them in. Attempts to look for answers only reveal the nearby Norwegian research outpost to be in charred ruins with no survivors, and a bizarre but seemingly human upon autopsy body. It's only later when the rescued dog mutates into a hideous tentacled abomination, and tries to both devour, and clone the other dogs, and a return trip to the ruins of the Norwegian outpost that the men at Outpost 31 discover that the Norwegians accidentally freed some strange alien creature. A creature capable of not only devouring another lifeform cell by cell from the inside but also capable of changing it's own cells to duplicate it's prey, and worse if it leaves Antarctica it will assimilate all life on Earth within years. Not only that but the paranoia over who's still human, and who's an alien is getting to the men, and their greatest threat may not be the alien but each other. My %100 completely honest, biased, and subjective opinion First things first I remember for the longest time never actually watching this movie mostly because I was only familiar with the 1951 Howard Hawkes movie on which this is based. And because while I thought the actual creature looked scary I was confused about whether it ate people, and turned into them, and turned people into more aliens. It was only when I found out that both movies where based on the same book John W Campbell Jr's Who Goes There, and that if anything Carpenter's version actually closer that I gave it a chance. And now that I have I can honestly say that this is my personal favorite horror movie. For starters it has all the things that creep me out the most. You have a tentacled abomination from outer space that reproduces by turning other beings into more of itself. You have paranoia over who's still human, and who's an alien. And not only that but the setting reminds me of when I still lived in Cheyenne Wyoming so even I now live in Eureka California it still feels like something that could have happened to me if I stayed there. Another reason I like it is because the eponymous Thing is not only an Eldritich Abomination but one that feels like it's only slightly outside the realm of possibility. No one knows what it actually is, or where it came, no one's sure if it's a complex life form like an animal that works like a disease or a simple life form like a disease that works like an animal, and even the smallest cell of it is an independent creature. At the same time it's not completely immortal because fire can destroy it, it has to rely on deception because if it goes around acting Willy nilly it will get killed, and the same every cell is an individual Thing creature itself rule means that you can take cells from someone, and expose them to heat, and find out who's a Thing. I also like how there's tension, and not everything is thrown at us right away but at the same time it never gets very boring either because it feels like there's a rhythm to it like they'll be five minutes of talking, and everyone wondering who's The Thing, and then all of a sudden BAM someone turns out to be The Thing. I think if I have a problem it's that in trying to make the main hero MacReady look like a cool bad ass it makes him a helicopter pilot seem smarter than an entire team of actual scientists, especially when he does things that are supposed to be harsh but necessary when he does them but are crazy, and suicidal when others do them. But even that I can chalk up to this being a John Carpenter's movie with Kurt Russell at a time when Kurt Russell was the cool bad ass in John Carpenter's movies, and the fact that supposedly the original story Who Goes There? was almost a Doc Savage story, and MacReady himself was supposed to be Doc Savage. In the end The Thing in my opinion truly lives up to it's claim as the ultimate alien terror. Last edited by Zabitan; 09/21/15 at 05:44 PM.